3-26-25
| listening: |
harpy hare - yaelokre |
| feeling: |
surprised |
prom this weekend ughhhhhhh.... hopefully i get to hang out with my bf
the day before, i wanna play tekken lol. apparently i wasn't clear that i
didn't want to go to prom to my parents o~o i thought that was
understood. i literally never go to dances. i went to the first
highschool dance, decided it was mid, and only went to any subsequent
dances if i was asked to. this'll be the third dance of my highschool
career (and the last thank god). i think an unnessesary amount of
emphasis is put on this one event but no hate to the people who like
dressing up and socializing, it's just not for me :p
i was playing splatoon series yesterday (super surprising ik) and bro.
this is like a group project i don't get to choose my partners. i usually
don't play online if i'm playing splatoon cause i have the most fun with
my teammates, we're pretty synced up imo. but everyone says i should get
out of c- rank because i usually play in s+ lobbies i just don't level
myself up there. so i decide to take some initiative and play by myself..
and this absolute dipshit with a brain of rocks is playing ranked
series like its turf. LOCK IN!!!!!
apparently this is how ranked players feel all the time but its not for
me man. i'm gonna go play side order again -_- (this is the code from
that game btw if u wanna watch it, the guy playing turf is named :3
RKGT-GHRM-M8PE-N5J4)
anyway i have other things to do but the main reason i'm writing an entry
today is i wanted to say i think my meds are working!! (which i mentioned
last entry and i forgor lol) i was singing risk by mega mango (really
good song btw) and i finished it and i realized i didn't think "god i
wish i didn't feel like this" at all during the song. i kinda don't feel
like anything for a few days buuuuuuut.. progress. i'll take what i can
get o7
also i finished
an animation but i'm too lazy to post it properly so i'm just dropping the link here
lol
3-20-25
small update: my team won that hackathon i mentioned before! we placed
first so i get like 200 bucks which is craaaazy. when i joined i
didn't even know we could win money i just wanted to make a website...
∑(ﾟ∇ﾟ|||) once the money comes in i can put it towards stuff for my room
and the site!
i got two commissions this month so i'm thinking about getting a domain!
that'll create a whole issue with my webrings again tho, maybe i can
figure out a redirect solution. :p i wanna try out csp but idk about
using it on my ipad and my computer is too weak 4 it (i can't run
medibang paint/firealpaca without lag -_-) i'm considering switching from
procreate to csp but there are some issues w that.
-
i don't have a screen tablet or a powerful enough computer to justify
getting the puter version
- super brokies
- i dont wanna pay a subscription for the ipad version...
idk we will just have to see. 40 something days until i graduate high
school wish me luck. gonna miss my friends and my boyfriend but other
than that i don't wanna be hereeeeeee aaaaaaaaaaaaa ಠ_ಠ not to mention i
have to go to prom instead of a local game competition (how typical of a
neocities recluse to prefer splatoon to prom ik) i don't even want to go
to prom i'm just going for my ??? mom??? parents??? family????? idk i
wouldn't be going if i didn't have do. i don't like traditions like this.
the possibility of winning the pool money once more has been stolen from
my bf and i. tragic crime!!
i think my meds are working cause i have a lot more thoughts like "wow i
love my friends" and "wow its fun to be alive" "wow i appreciate all of
my neoneighbors for being alive and creating" general flowery things like
that. but as im writing this i am realizing those mfs wear offfffff. i am
generally holding more love and kindness in my heart every day tho. i do
my best. i will survive despite everything o7
augh also i mentioned something on my site profile about writing an
article but it kinda turned into a manifesto so idk if i'll finish it. i
just got really pissed off about all the stuff being defunded and how the
planet is going rn. not much i can do about that large scale ig, but i'll
try to make community in my cities and mold a support system many people
can benefit from. idk i'm rambling now so i'm probably gonna close
vscodium for the night. RELIABLE NATIONWIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION FOR
EVERYONE RN. FUCK CARS. I WAS BUILT TO LOOK LOVINGLY OUT A TRAIN WINDOW
LIKE A MOVIE CHARACTER.