3-26-25
| listening: |
harpy hare - yaelokre |
| feeling: |
surprised |
prom this weekend ughhhhhhh.... hopefully i get to hang out with my bf the
day before, i wanna play tekken lol. apparently i wasn't clear that i didn't
want to go to prom to my parents o~o i thought that was understood. i
literally never go to dances. i went to the first highschool dance, decided
it was mid, and only went to any subsequent dances if i was asked to.
this'll be the third dance of my highschool career (and the last thank god).
i think an unnessesary amount of emphasis is put on this one event but no
hate to the people who like dressing up and socializing, it's just not for
me :p
i was playing splatoon series yesterday (super surprising ik) and bro. this
is like a group project i don't get to choose my partners. i usually don't
play online if i'm playing splatoon cause i have the most fun with my
teammates, we're pretty synced up imo. but everyone says i should get out of
c- rank because i usually play in s+ lobbies i just don't level myself up
there. so i decide to take some initiative and play by myself..
and this absolute dipshit with a brain of rocks is playing ranked series
like its turf. LOCK IN!!!!!
apparently this is how ranked players feel all the time but its not for me
man. i'm gonna go play side order again -_- (this is the code from that game
btw if u wanna watch it, the guy playing turf is named :3
RKGT-GHRM-M8PE-N5J4)
anyway i have other things to do but the main reason i'm writing an entry
today is i wanted to say i think my meds are working!! (which i mentioned
last entry and i forgor lol) i was singing risk by mega mango (really good
song btw) and i finished it and i realized i didn't think "god i wish i
didn't feel like this" at all during the song. i kinda don't feel like
anything for a few days buuuuuuut.. progress. i'll take what i can get o7
also i finished an animation but i'm too lazy to post it properly so
here
lol
3-20-25
small update: my team won that hackathon i mentioned before! we placed first
so i get like 200 bucks which is craaaazy. when i joined i didn't
even know we could win money i just wanted to make a website... ∑(ﾟ∇ﾟ|||)
once the money comes in i can put it towards stuff for my room and the site!
i got two commissions this month so i'm thinking about getting a domain!
that'll create a whole issue with my webrings again tho, maybe i can figure
out a redirect solution. :p i wanna try out csp but idk about using it on my
ipad and my computer is too weak 4 it (i can't run medibang paint/firealpaca
without lag -_-) i'm considering switching from procreate to csp but there
are some issues w that.
-
i don't have a screen tablet or a powerful enough computer to justify
getting the puter version
- super brokies
- i dont wanna pay a subscription for the ipad version...
idk we will just have to see. 40 something days until i graduate high school
wish me luck. gonna miss my friends and my boyfriend but other than that i
don't wanna be hereeeeeee aaaaaaaaaaaaa ಠ_ಠ not to mention i have to go to
prom instead of a local game competition (how typical of a neocities recluse
to prefer splatoon to prom ik) i don't even want to go to prom i'm just
going for my ??? mom??? parents??? family????? idk i wouldn't be going if i
didn't have do. i don't like traditions like this. the possibility of
winning the pool money once more has been stolen from my bf and i. tragic
crime!!
i think my meds are working cause i have a lot more thoughts like "wow i
love my friends" and "wow its fun to be alive" "wow i appreciate all of my
neoneighbors for being alive and creating" general flowery things like that.
but as im writing this i am realizing those mfs wear offfffff. i am
generally holding more love and kindness in my heart every day tho. i do my
best. i will survive despite everything o7
augh also i mentioned something on my site profile about writing an article
but it kinda turned into a manifesto so idk if i'll finish it. i just got
really pissed off about all the stuff being defunded and how the planet is
going rn. not much i can do about that large scale ig, but i'll try to make
community in my cities and mold a support system many people can benefit
from. idk i'm rambling now so i'm probably gonna close vscodium for the
night. RELIABLE NATIONWIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION FOR EVERYONE RN. FUCK CARS.
I WAS BUILT TO LOOK LOVINGLY OUT A TRAIN WINDOW LIKE A MOVIE CHARACTER.